Just in time for the holidays...WARNING...New Credit Card Scam. Note, the callers do not ask for your card number; they already have it. This information is worth reading. By understanding how the VISA & MasterCard Telephone Credit Card Scam works, you'll be better prepared to protect yourself. One of our employees was called on Wednesday from "VISA", and I was called on Thursday from "MasterCard".
The scam works like this: Person calling says, "This is (name), and I'm calling from the Security and Fraud Department at VISA. My Badge number is 12460. Your card has been flagged for an unusual purchase pattern,and I'm calling to verify. This would be on your VISA card which was issued by (name of bank). Did you purchase an Anti-Telemarketing Device for $497.99 from a Marketing company based in Arizona?" When you say"No", the caller continues with, "Then we will be issuing a credit to your account. This is a company we have been watching and the charges range from $297 to $497, just under the $500 purchase pattern that flags most cards. Before your next statement, the credit will be sent to (gives you your address), is that correct?" You say "yes". The caller continues - "I will be starting a Fraud investigation. If you have any questions, you should call the 1- 800 number listed on the back of your card (1-800-VISA) and ask for Security. You will need to refer to this Control Number. The caller then gives you a 6 digit number. "Do you need me to read it again?" Here's the IMPORTANT part on how the scam works. The caller then says, "I need to verify you are in possession of your card". He'll ask you to "turn your card over and look for some numbers". There are 7 numbers; the first 4 are part of your card number, the next 3 are the security Numbers' that verify you are the possessor of the card. These are the numbers you sometimes use to make Internet purchases to prove you have the card.
The caller will ask you to read the 3 numbers to him. After you tell the caller the 3 numbers, he'll say, "That is correct, I just needed to verify that the card has not been lost or stolen, and that you still have your card. Do you have any other questions?" After you say No, the caller then thanks you and states, "Don't hesitate to call back if you do", and hangs up. You actually say very little, and they never ask for or tell you the Card number. But after we were called on Wednesday, we called back within 20 minutes to ask a question. Are we glad we did! The REAL VISA Security Department told us it was a scam and in the last 15 minutes a new purchase of $497.99 was charged to our card.
Long story made short - we made a real fraud report and closed the VISA account. VISA is reissuing us a new number. What the scammers want is the 3-digit PIN number on the back of the card. Don't give it to them. Instead, tell them you'll call VISA or Master card directly for verification of their conversation. The real VISA told us that they will never ask for anything on the card as they already know the information since they issued the card! If you give the scammers your 3 Digit PIN Number, you think you're receiving a credit. However, by the time you get your statement you'll see charges for purchases you 20 didn't make, and by then it's almost to late and/or more difficult to actually file a fraud report.
What makes this more remarkable is that on Thursday, I got a call from a "Jason Richardson of MasterCard" with a word-for-word repeat of the VISA scam. This time I didn't let him finish. I hung up! We filed a police report, as instructed by VISA. The police said they are taking several of these reports daily! They also urged us to tell everybody we know that this scam is happening. Please pass this on to all your family and friends.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Watch Where You Stick Your Finger!!!
Here's what happens when you stick your hand near a sensor and the serpentine belt gets a hold of a finger...not a pretty sight, is it? This picture is of my son and this is what happened to him on Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas, Mom. Look at my finger!!! Do I need to go to the hospital?
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Is there a god & if so, where is he?
I've recently been contemplating the whole Christmas issue...I'm almost certain that there was a Jesus Christ around some 2000 years ago but what about the god? In my own little mind, there is a so-called higher being but I don't think exactly like others...maybe the god is an alien? I don't think he's around to judge us either. I think our lives (Earth) is just one big test by some alien being and if a spaceship lands tomorrow and tells me to get aboard or die, I'm getting on.
If he's around, why does this exist:
Why are there murderers and rapists and why aren't they struck down immediately after committing a so-called sin? I'm not saying murder and rape isn't a bad thing but why are people not judged then and there on the spot? If the god is all high and mighty, he could take them out with a bolt of lightening...
Why are there pedophiles/child molesters? Again, the lightening rod comes to mind...
Why are there thieves and liars?
Why do you have to die to be judged by the God?
If he's around, why does this exist:
Why are there murderers and rapists and why aren't they struck down immediately after committing a so-called sin? I'm not saying murder and rape isn't a bad thing but why are people not judged then and there on the spot? If the god is all high and mighty, he could take them out with a bolt of lightening...
Why are there pedophiles/child molesters? Again, the lightening rod comes to mind...
Why are there thieves and liars?
Why do you have to die to be judged by the God?
Friday, December 16, 2005
Dear Santa...try it
Santa Claus, North Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Leah's Office party. It was Kim who spiked the punch with too much vodka. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like jasmine.
I thought it was funny when I put Carrie's panties on my head and danced the 2-step on the Bed while singing `"Motel Lights"'. I didn't mean to break Leah's toaster and don't know why Leah would accuse me of theft.
I don't remember calling Mitch's wife a unruly Horse---even though she looked like one with Red eye shadow and Blue lipstick!
And when I threw up on Barbie's husband's leg, it was only because I ate too much of that mexican food.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my truck through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a furry Cat and have me arrested for DUI!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all shiny and loving. And I'm really not to blame for any of this swift stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and seriously yours,Lisa (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 37 bucks!
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Leah's Office party. It was Kim who spiked the punch with too much vodka. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like jasmine.
I thought it was funny when I put Carrie's panties on my head and danced the 2-step on the Bed while singing `"Motel Lights"'. I didn't mean to break Leah's toaster and don't know why Leah would accuse me of theft.
I don't remember calling Mitch's wife a unruly Horse---even though she looked like one with Red eye shadow and Blue lipstick!
And when I threw up on Barbie's husband's leg, it was only because I ate too much of that mexican food.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my truck through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a furry Cat and have me arrested for DUI!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all shiny and loving. And I'm really not to blame for any of this swift stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and seriously yours,Lisa (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 37 bucks!
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Which Superhero are You?
You are Wonder Woman
Wonder Woman
77%
The Flash
70%
Supergirl
67%
Superman
65%
Hulk
60%
Catwoman
60%
Robin
52%
Spider-Man
40%
Green Lantern
40%
Batman
35%
Iron Man
20%
You are a beautiful princesswith great strength of character.
Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...
Monday, December 05, 2005
Morals
A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: Get their parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg - laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."
"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs,but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'."
"That was a fine story Sarah. Billy, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunt Kimmy. Aunt Kimmy was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit and she had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out bullets, then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Stay the fuck away from my Aunty Kimmy when she's been drinking."
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg - laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."
"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs,but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'."
"That was a fine story Sarah. Billy, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunt Kimmy. Aunt Kimmy was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit and she had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out bullets, then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Stay the fuck away from my Aunty Kimmy when she's been drinking."
How to Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
3) Insist that your e mail address is: Xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.
4) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
5) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
6) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
10) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
11) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
13) Don't use any punctuation
14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
15) Ask people what sex they are.
16) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
17) Sing Along at the opera.
18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
19) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the sameoutfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
20) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.
21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
23) Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.
24) Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess"
25) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
26) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
27) When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
28) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do"
29) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"
30) Every time you see a broom yell "Honey, your mother is here"
2) Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
3) Insist that your e mail address is: Xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.
4) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
5) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
6) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
10) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
11) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
13) Don't use any punctuation
14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
15) Ask people what sex they are.
16) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
17) Sing Along at the opera.
18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
19) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the sameoutfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
20) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.
21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
23) Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.
24) Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess"
25) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
26) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
27) When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
28) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do"
29) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"
30) Every time you see a broom yell "Honey, your mother is here"
Words..it's only Words...use them wisely!!!
This is a list of words that sometimes just pop into my head...some of the time I'm thinking about someone and other times, it's just words... use these words in a sentence and win free beer! Find me at the bar & I'll buy you one.
Condescending
Contempt
Despondent
Distain
Dogma
Fuckstick
Furious
Horrified
Mortified
Muggy
Mullet
Perception
Predator
Provacative
Quaint
Suave
Surly
Sultry
Vengence
Virtuous
wayward
Condescending
Contempt
Despondent
Distain
Dogma
Fuckstick
Furious
Horrified
Mortified
Muggy
Mullet
Perception
Predator
Provacative
Quaint
Suave
Surly
Sultry
Vengence
Virtuous
wayward
Friday, December 02, 2005
Four Catholic Ladies...
Four Catholic ladies were having coffee.The first Catholic woman tells her friends, "My son is a Priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic crone says "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence'."
Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle "Well...?"
Finally she replies, "My son is a gorgeous, sexy, antler-wearing, body-building pagan. When he walks into a room, women say, 'Oh my God'."
The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic crone says "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence'."
Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle "Well...?"
Finally she replies, "My son is a gorgeous, sexy, antler-wearing, body-building pagan. When he walks into a room, women say, 'Oh my God'."
The Great Flood of 2001
Click on the above link for more old pics of Houston during the flood of 2001. I think her name was Allison...
Thursday, December 01, 2005
I have recently been diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder...
This is how it goes: I decide to wash the car; I start toward the garage and notice the mail on the table. Ok, I'm going to wash the car. But first I'm going to go through the mail. I lay the car keys down on the desk, discard the junk mail and I notice the trashcan is full. Ok, I'll just put the bills on my desk and take the trashcan out, but since I'm going to be near the mailbox anyway, I'll pay these few bills first. Now, where is my checkbook? Oops, there's only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk.Oh, there's the coke I was drinking. I'm going to look for those checks. But first I need to put my coke further away from the computer, oh maybe I'll pop it into the fridge to keep it cold for a while. I head towards the kitchen and my flowers catch my eye, they need some water. I set the coke on the counter and uh oh! There are my glasses. I was looking for them all morning! I'd better put them away first. I fill a container with water and head for the flower pots - - Aaaaaagh! Someone left the TV remote in the kitchen. We'll never think to look in the kitchen tonight when we want to watch television so I'd better put it back in the family room where it belongs. I splash some water into the pots and onto the floor, I throw the remote onto a soft cushion on the sofa and I head back down the hall trying to figure out what it was I was going to do?
End of Day: The car isn't washed, the bills are unpaid, the coke is sitting on the kitchen counter, the flowers are half watered, the checkbook still only has one check in it and I can't seem to find my car keys! When I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY LONG!!! I realize this is a serious condition and I'll get help, BUT FIRST I think I'll check my e-mail...Please send this to everyone you know because I DON'T REMEMBER TO WHOM I'VE SENT THIS !!!
This is how it goes: I decide to wash the car; I start toward the garage and notice the mail on the table. Ok, I'm going to wash the car. But first I'm going to go through the mail. I lay the car keys down on the desk, discard the junk mail and I notice the trashcan is full. Ok, I'll just put the bills on my desk and take the trashcan out, but since I'm going to be near the mailbox anyway, I'll pay these few bills first. Now, where is my checkbook? Oops, there's only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk.Oh, there's the coke I was drinking. I'm going to look for those checks. But first I need to put my coke further away from the computer, oh maybe I'll pop it into the fridge to keep it cold for a while. I head towards the kitchen and my flowers catch my eye, they need some water. I set the coke on the counter and uh oh! There are my glasses. I was looking for them all morning! I'd better put them away first. I fill a container with water and head for the flower pots - - Aaaaaagh! Someone left the TV remote in the kitchen. We'll never think to look in the kitchen tonight when we want to watch television so I'd better put it back in the family room where it belongs. I splash some water into the pots and onto the floor, I throw the remote onto a soft cushion on the sofa and I head back down the hall trying to figure out what it was I was going to do?
End of Day: The car isn't washed, the bills are unpaid, the coke is sitting on the kitchen counter, the flowers are half watered, the checkbook still only has one check in it and I can't seem to find my car keys! When I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY LONG!!! I realize this is a serious condition and I'll get help, BUT FIRST I think I'll check my e-mail...Please send this to everyone you know because I DON'T REMEMBER TO WHOM I'VE SENT THIS !!!
(smile)
Life in Hell
One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with a demon.
The demon asked, "Why so glum?"
The guy responded, "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
"Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?"
"Sure," the man said, "I love to drink."
"Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca. We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!"
The guy is astounded. "Damn, that sounds great."
"You a smoker?" the demon asked.
"You better believe it!"
"You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie. You're already dead, remember?"
"Wow, the guy said, "that's awesome!"
The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble."
"Why yes, as a matter of fact I do."
"Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow. You into drugs?"
The guy said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean..."
"That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead, who cares!"
"Wow, the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, "I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"
The demon said, "You gay?"
"No."
"Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays."
The demon asked, "Why so glum?"
The guy responded, "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
"Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?"
"Sure," the man said, "I love to drink."
"Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca. We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!"
The guy is astounded. "Damn, that sounds great."
"You a smoker?" the demon asked.
"You better believe it!"
"You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie. You're already dead, remember?"
"Wow, the guy said, "that's awesome!"
The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble."
"Why yes, as a matter of fact I do."
"Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow. You into drugs?"
The guy said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean..."
"That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead, who cares!"
"Wow, the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, "I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"
The demon said, "You gay?"
"No."
"Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays."
5 Stages of Drunkenness
Stage 1 - SMART
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.
Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF
You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!
Stage 5 - INVISIBLE
This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words.
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.
Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF
You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!
Stage 5 - INVISIBLE
This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Red Light Scam
A new scam is being pulled mainly on women who are past the age of giving a running pursuit. What happens is that when the intended victim stops at a red light, an almost NUDE, good looking, tanned, muscled young man comes up to her car and pretends to wash the windshield.
While he is doing this, another young, handsome athletic man opens the back door of the car, jumps inand insists the woman drive off with him to some lonely spot, where he has "his way" with her. They are very good at this.
They got me twice Friday and four times Saturday.
I couldn't find them on Sunday.
While he is doing this, another young, handsome athletic man opens the back door of the car, jumps inand insists the woman drive off with him to some lonely spot, where he has "his way" with her. They are very good at this.
They got me twice Friday and four times Saturday.
I couldn't find them on Sunday.
I was just thinkin'...
I know. It's hard for you to imagine me thinkin' but I do it ocassionally. I've been thinkin' about someone that I lost a long time ago and how I miss him. Then, I decided to look at the Black-Eyes, Bruises, Bloody-Nose and Choke Marks photo album and decided....NAW! What the fuck was I thinkin'? I don't miss the beatings at all!!!
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Sister's talk
Sister K and I have been discussing going down to Corpus Christi to see JB&S www.thestragglers.com on Wednesday night and returning that night. I know that it's only a little over 200 miles but when you get out of bed at 7:00 AM, go to work until noon, drive to Corpus Christi and back, we're talking about a long day. Anyway, we both had heard that this show might sell out since it will be the first show that he'll be back since his little "vacation" and thought that it would be best if we purchased the tickets in advance. A call was made to the Executive Surf Club http://www.executivesurfclub.com/ yesterday and Sister K was told that they didn't have tickets yet...call back tomorrow. The below is an excerpt of our conversation that followed purchasing tickets:
Me: have you called them yet to order a ticket?
Sister K: I just called them and they are 11.00 ea. I got both of us a ticket - the place is right around the corner from the surf club - she said there is a woody out in front (i started giggling) - just come by and pick them up. They will be open - some how affiliated with the surf club????
Me: I don't know I'll recognize a woody if I see one...
Sister K: that's funny - what time do you get off tomorrow?
Me: I just now snapped to what kind of a woody the girl could be talking about...duh. Maybe a jeep?
Sister K: uh, yeah! with wooden side panels....
Me: noon...leaving here & going to the bank to deposit my check & then going home.
Sister K: okay, I'll leave about the same time - I'll have to go home and change clothes and I'll meet you down at mom's!!!
Granted, I'm a bit naive some times but the part about the "woody" is true. I couldn't imagine what kind of landmark we'd be looking for...the real kicker is when Sister K told Mama R what are plan is, (to drive to CC & back in 1 night) she said "been there, done that." It would seem history is repeating itself, generation after generation. And now the countdown is on...less than 24 hours til we head out for Corpus Christi and I can hardly stand it. Wish me luck and a safe trip!!!
Me: have you called them yet to order a ticket?
Sister K: I just called them and they are 11.00 ea. I got both of us a ticket - the place is right around the corner from the surf club - she said there is a woody out in front (i started giggling) - just come by and pick them up. They will be open - some how affiliated with the surf club????
Me: I don't know I'll recognize a woody if I see one...
Sister K: that's funny - what time do you get off tomorrow?
Me: I just now snapped to what kind of a woody the girl could be talking about...duh. Maybe a jeep?
Sister K: uh, yeah! with wooden side panels....
Me: noon...leaving here & going to the bank to deposit my check & then going home.
Sister K: okay, I'll leave about the same time - I'll have to go home and change clothes and I'll meet you down at mom's!!!
Granted, I'm a bit naive some times but the part about the "woody" is true. I couldn't imagine what kind of landmark we'd be looking for...the real kicker is when Sister K told Mama R what are plan is, (to drive to CC & back in 1 night) she said "been there, done that." It would seem history is repeating itself, generation after generation. And now the countdown is on...less than 24 hours til we head out for Corpus Christi and I can hardly stand it. Wish me luck and a safe trip!!!
Friday, November 18, 2005
How You Live Your Life
| How You Live Your Life |
 You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think. You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly. Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down. |
This is so true it's scary...
If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?
| The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic |
 Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few. But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky. Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski |
What Mixed Drink Are You?
| You Are an Appletini |
 Most of the time, you're a typical party girl / guy. But when you get super sauced, you really up your sex appeal. |
I Miss the Old Days...
I miss you... I miss the old days... Can we please smoke the peace pipe together after the show?
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Things you need to know...is this true???
1. Budweiser beer conditions the hair
2. Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish
3. Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes
4. Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair
5. Elmer's Glue - paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the dead skin and blackheads if any
6. Shiny Hair - use brewed Lipton Tea
7. Sunburn - empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water
8. Minor burn - Colgate or Crest toothpaste
9. Burn your tongue? Put sugar on it!
10. Arthritis? WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insec stings too
11. Bee stings - meat tenderizer
12. Chigger bite - Preparation H
13. Puffy eyes - Preparation H
14. Paper cut - crazy glue or chap stick (glue is used instead of sutures at most hospitals)
15. Stinky feet - Jello
16. Athletes feet - cornstarch
17. Fungus on toenails or fingernails - Vicks vapor rub
18. Kool aid to clean dishwasher pipes. Just put in the detergent section and run a cycle, it will also clean a toilet.
19. Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint - also Kool Aid in Dannon plain yogurt as a finger paint, your kids will love it.
20. Peanut butter - will get scratches out of CD's! Wipe off with a coffee filter paper 21. Sticking bicycle chain - Pam stick cooking spray
22. Pam will also remove paint, and grease from your hands! Keep a can in your garage for your hubby
23. Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls
24. When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with corn starch and watch them slide on
25. Heavy dandruff - pour on the vinegar!
26. Body paint - Crisco mixed with food coloring. Heat the Crisco in the microwave, pour in to an empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice!
27 Tie Dye T-shirt - mix a solution of Kool Aid in a container, tie a rubber band around a section of the T-shirt and soak
28. Preserving a newspaper clipping - large bottle of club soda and cup of milk of magnesia, soak for 20 min. and let dry, will last for many years!
29. A Slinky will hold toast and CD's!
30. To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate toothpaste
31. Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt and watch it absorb into the salt.
32. To remove wax - Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax stain, it will absorb into the towel.
33. Remove labels off glassware etc. rub with Peanut butter!
34. Baked on food - fill container with water, get a Bounce paper softener and the static from the Bounce towel will cause the baked on food to adhere to it. Soak overnight. Also; you can use 2 Efferdent tablets, soak overnight!
35. Crayon on the wall - Colgate toothpaste and brush it!
36. Dirty grout - Listerine
37. Stains on clothes - Colgate
38. Grass stains - Karo Syrup
39. Grease Stains - Coca Cola, it will also remove grease stains from the driveway overnight. We know it will take corrosion from car batteries!
40. Fleas in your carpet? 20 Mule Team Borax- sprinkle and let stand for 24 hours. Maybe this will work if you get them back again.
41. To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer Add a little Clorox, or 2 Bayer aspirin, or just use 7-up instead of water.
42. When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever wondered which is the freshest, so you "squeeze" for freshness or softness? Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week? Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Each day has a different color twist tie. They are: Monday = Blue, Tuesday = Green, Thursday = Red Friday = White and Saturday = Yellow. So if today was Thursday, you would want red twist tie; not white which is Fridays (almost a week old)! The colors go alphabetically by color Blue Green - Red - White - Yellow, Monday through Saturday. Very easy to remember. I thought this was interesting. I looked in the grocery store and the bread wrappers DO have different twist ties, and even the ones with the plastic clips have different colors. You learn something new everyday! Enjoy fresh bread when you buy bread with the right color on the day you are shopping.
2. Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish
3. Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes
4. Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair
5. Elmer's Glue - paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the dead skin and blackheads if any
6. Shiny Hair - use brewed Lipton Tea
7. Sunburn - empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water
8. Minor burn - Colgate or Crest toothpaste
9. Burn your tongue? Put sugar on it!
10. Arthritis? WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insec stings too
11. Bee stings - meat tenderizer
12. Chigger bite - Preparation H
13. Puffy eyes - Preparation H
14. Paper cut - crazy glue or chap stick (glue is used instead of sutures at most hospitals)
15. Stinky feet - Jello
16. Athletes feet - cornstarch
17. Fungus on toenails or fingernails - Vicks vapor rub
18. Kool aid to clean dishwasher pipes. Just put in the detergent section and run a cycle, it will also clean a toilet.
19. Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint - also Kool Aid in Dannon plain yogurt as a finger paint, your kids will love it.
20. Peanut butter - will get scratches out of CD's! Wipe off with a coffee filter paper 21. Sticking bicycle chain - Pam stick cooking spray
22. Pam will also remove paint, and grease from your hands! Keep a can in your garage for your hubby
23. Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls
24. When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with corn starch and watch them slide on
25. Heavy dandruff - pour on the vinegar!
26. Body paint - Crisco mixed with food coloring. Heat the Crisco in the microwave, pour in to an empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice!
27 Tie Dye T-shirt - mix a solution of Kool Aid in a container, tie a rubber band around a section of the T-shirt and soak
28. Preserving a newspaper clipping - large bottle of club soda and cup of milk of magnesia, soak for 20 min. and let dry, will last for many years!
29. A Slinky will hold toast and CD's!
30. To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate toothpaste
31. Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt and watch it absorb into the salt.
32. To remove wax - Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax stain, it will absorb into the towel.
33. Remove labels off glassware etc. rub with Peanut butter!
34. Baked on food - fill container with water, get a Bounce paper softener and the static from the Bounce towel will cause the baked on food to adhere to it. Soak overnight. Also; you can use 2 Efferdent tablets, soak overnight!
35. Crayon on the wall - Colgate toothpaste and brush it!
36. Dirty grout - Listerine
37. Stains on clothes - Colgate
38. Grass stains - Karo Syrup
39. Grease Stains - Coca Cola, it will also remove grease stains from the driveway overnight. We know it will take corrosion from car batteries!
40. Fleas in your carpet? 20 Mule Team Borax- sprinkle and let stand for 24 hours. Maybe this will work if you get them back again.
41. To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer Add a little Clorox, or 2 Bayer aspirin, or just use 7-up instead of water.
42. When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever wondered which is the freshest, so you "squeeze" for freshness or softness? Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week? Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Each day has a different color twist tie. They are: Monday = Blue, Tuesday = Green, Thursday = Red Friday = White and Saturday = Yellow. So if today was Thursday, you would want red twist tie; not white which is Fridays (almost a week old)! The colors go alphabetically by color Blue Green - Red - White - Yellow, Monday through Saturday. Very easy to remember. I thought this was interesting. I looked in the grocery store and the bread wrappers DO have different twist ties, and even the ones with the plastic clips have different colors. You learn something new everyday! Enjoy fresh bread when you buy bread with the right color on the day you are shopping.
Monday, November 14, 2005
You know you're a Texan if...
1. You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Palestine, Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Burnet, Boerne, Nacogdoches, Mexia, Waco, Amarillo, and Waxahachie.
2. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
3. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
5. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
6. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
7. You measure distance in minutes.
8. Little Smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.
9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
11. You know cowpies are not made of beef.
12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.
13. You have known someone who has had a belt buckle bigger than your fist.
14. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.
15. Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.
16. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol; a Ford F350 4x4 is.
17. You know everything goes better with Ranch dressin'.
18. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
19. You actually understand this and you are "fixin' to" send it to your friends.
20. Finally, you are 100% Texan if you have ever heard this conversation:
"You wanna coke?" "Yeah." "What kind?" "Dr. Pepper!"
2. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
3. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
5. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
6. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
7. You measure distance in minutes.
8. Little Smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.
9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
11. You know cowpies are not made of beef.
12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.
13. You have known someone who has had a belt buckle bigger than your fist.
14. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.
15. Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.
16. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol; a Ford F350 4x4 is.
17. You know everything goes better with Ranch dressin'.
18. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
19. You actually understand this and you are "fixin' to" send it to your friends.
20. Finally, you are 100% Texan if you have ever heard this conversation:
"You wanna coke?" "Yeah." "What kind?" "Dr. Pepper!"
Friday, November 11, 2005
Test for Prospective Parents...;-)
These tests will help you decide if you're ready for children.
MESS TEST-Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
TOY TEST-Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (or you may substitute roofing tacks).Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.
GROCERY STORE TEST-Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
DRESSING TEST-Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.
FEEDING TEST-Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfulsof soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.
NIGHT TEST-Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00p.m. begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00p.m. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for10:00p.m.Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00a.m. Set alarm for 5:00a.m. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years.Look cheerful.
INGENUITY TEST-Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil.Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty box of CocoaPuffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.
AUTOMOBILE TEST-Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the cassette player. Take a family size package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There, perfect.
PHYSICAL TEST- (Women)Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans. And try not to notice your closet full of clothes. You won't be wearing them for a while.
PHYSICAL TEST- (Men)Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.
FINAL ASSIGNMENT-Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time.
MESS TEST-Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
TOY TEST-Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (or you may substitute roofing tacks).Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.
GROCERY STORE TEST-Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
DRESSING TEST-Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.
FEEDING TEST-Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfulsof soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.
NIGHT TEST-Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00p.m. begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00p.m. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for10:00p.m.Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00a.m. Set alarm for 5:00a.m. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years.Look cheerful.
INGENUITY TEST-Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil.Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty box of CocoaPuffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.
AUTOMOBILE TEST-Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the cassette player. Take a family size package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There, perfect.
PHYSICAL TEST- (Women)Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans. And try not to notice your closet full of clothes. You won't be wearing them for a while.
PHYSICAL TEST- (Men)Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.
FINAL ASSIGNMENT-Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time.
Things That I Have Done...
I've jumped from a moving vehicle - twice!!!
I've saved a child from drowning while his parents were only a couple a feet away from him.
I've saved my grandson from a fire and put the fire out without the fire department's help.
I've been to jail 3 times for the same reason.
I've ridden on the back of a motorcycle from Houston, TX to Sturgis, SD and back again and know what saddle sore means.
I've saved a child from drowning while his parents were only a couple a feet away from him.
I've saved my grandson from a fire and put the fire out without the fire department's help.
I've been to jail 3 times for the same reason.
I've ridden on the back of a motorcycle from Houston, TX to Sturgis, SD and back again and know what saddle sore means.
I've hit a woman in the head with my cell phone and broke 3 fingernails off in her friend's head. (They didn't know what "stfu" meant)
I've been to Disneyworld in Florida and it was the worst vacation of my life.
I've puked in public while my friend held my hair.
I've held my friend's hair while she puked in public.
I've had to drag several of my friends from bars because they were drunk or to fuct up to walk but I don't have that problem.
I can walk and puke at the same time...it's genetic.
I've had more black eyes than I can remember.
I've had my nose broken by an open hand slap.
I once kicked my ex-boyfriend in the head with steel toe boots until my legs were tired while he was driving down the road and sent him to the hospital.
(He deserved it)
I've let numerous people live with us in our house that had no place to go...
why, I don't know.
I've gotten drunk at funerals and weddings because both make me sad.
I've traveled thousands of miles to see live music over the past 30 years and got the t-shirts to prove it.
I've fallen down in the driveway and thought I knocked my teeth loose.
I ate a handful of pills once and lost a week.
I have to bite my tongue on a regular basis to keep from telling my daughter
"I told you so."
I know from personal experience that ADD is hereditary and is passed on from father to son.
I have roller skated through all of downtown Houston.
I have been to Hawaii but didn't get in the water because I was scared of it.
I've only been to 18 out of 50 states of the USA.
Laredo, TX is the closest I've been to Mexico and it's one of the filthiest and scariest places that I've seen in my life.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
A few good laughs....
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST; She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
WOMEN'S REVENGE; "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN; (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax pour it onto your upper thigh,rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR; While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it? The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS; A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carto n of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo-! -oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ............ so does she. ( I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton! )
WIFE VS. HUSBAND; A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
COMMUNICATION; A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION; A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"
WHO DOES WHAT; A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"
THE SILENT TREATMENT; A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00AM. Wake up."Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
WOMEN'S REVENGE; "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN; (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax pour it onto your upper thigh,rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR; While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it? The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS; A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carto n of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo-! -oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ............ so does she. ( I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton! )
WIFE VS. HUSBAND; A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
COMMUNICATION; A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION; A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"
WHO DOES WHAT; A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"
THE SILENT TREATMENT; A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00AM. Wake up."Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
~Halloween Joke~
A black man and his wife were going to a Halloween party in a couple of days.
So the husband tells his wife to go to the store and get costumes for them to wear.
When he comes home that night he goes into the bedroom and there laid out on the bed is a Superman costume.
The husband yells at his wife, "What are you doing?Have you ever heard of a black Superman?Take this back and get me something else I can wear."
The next day the wife, not too happy, returns the costume and gets a replacement.
The Husband comes home from work goes to the bedroom, and there, laid out on the bed, is a Batman costume.He again yells at his wife, "What are you doing?Have you ever heard of a black Batman?Take this back and get me something I can wear to the costume party!"
The next morning his irate wife goes shopping. When the husband comes home again from work, there laid out on the bed are three items: one is a set of three white buttons, the second is a thick white belt, and the third item is a 2 x 4.
The husband yells at the wife, "What the hell are these for?"
The wife yells back, "Take your clothes off. You can put the three white buttons on the front of you and go as a domino. If you don't like that one, you can put the white belt on and go as an Oreo. And if you don't like THAT one, you can stick the 2 x 4 up your ass and go as a fudgesicle."
So the husband tells his wife to go to the store and get costumes for them to wear.
When he comes home that night he goes into the bedroom and there laid out on the bed is a Superman costume.
The husband yells at his wife, "What are you doing?Have you ever heard of a black Superman?Take this back and get me something else I can wear."
The next day the wife, not too happy, returns the costume and gets a replacement.
The Husband comes home from work goes to the bedroom, and there, laid out on the bed, is a Batman costume.He again yells at his wife, "What are you doing?Have you ever heard of a black Batman?Take this back and get me something I can wear to the costume party!"
The next morning his irate wife goes shopping. When the husband comes home again from work, there laid out on the bed are three items: one is a set of three white buttons, the second is a thick white belt, and the third item is a 2 x 4.
The husband yells at the wife, "What the hell are these for?"
The wife yells back, "Take your clothes off. You can put the three white buttons on the front of you and go as a domino. If you don't like that one, you can put the white belt on and go as an Oreo. And if you don't like THAT one, you can stick the 2 x 4 up your ass and go as a fudgesicle."
Friday, October 28, 2005
Quit Smoking Those Dreaded Cigarettes!!!
I'm ready to quit!
I can feel my lungs clogged with tar and nicotine!
I feel unhealthy!
I'm short winded!
I think it's the reason that I'm sick every year with bronchitis!
I work in a smoker's enviroment and it will be difficult!
It seems at times that everyone I know smokes.
Then at other times, no one smokes.
I do not want to become a smoke nazi.
My breath and clothing smell like smoke and that's not good.
I need help!!!
Any tips?
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Monday, October 24, 2005
Are You Still Mad? nooo...
I'm not mad anymore at the person that cheated on me and lied to me anymore. I totally understand the cheating part since I know I'm not much to look at (he's not either) but the lying still upsets me. In time, I'll get over it because I know he's just a man and that's what men do to women...lie to them. I've known that for many, many years and should've known better than to trust him. Anyway, all trust is gone out the door now along with yesterdays dirt from my shoes...swept away, not under the rug. It's time for me to get back to doing what makes me happy, listening to live music. Not that I haven't been experiencing it, but I've been holding back and not having the great times like I used to have... Have a drink with me tonight and toast my new found freedom (again) and we'll salute all of the fucktards that have ever cheated and lied. More power to 'em...
I'm just pissed that my death spell is taking too long...
I'm just pissed that my death spell is taking too long...
Saturday, October 22, 2005
things i learned or remembered tonight
blood is supposed to be thicker than water but that ain't always the case.
i like guys with big noses for some strange reason that i cannot understand or explain. rip
plaid is not my friend...
but nick is my friend.
my mind gets fuzzy when I drink too much but my writing abilities improve.
russell is a good dancer but not much to look at...
i do not like beach blonde bitches that laugh and make fun of others.
most of my so-called friends won't be there for me when i need them.
men are like toilet paper...to be used and thrown away.
sometimes the word down has 2 syllables.
brutal honesty is the best kind to possess.
hate is a four letter word...
so is fuck.
when i say i feel black, i mean on the inside.
some people make me smile when they're around.
i laugh at my own stupidity.
i laugh at others stupidity.
people are strange just like jim morrison said.
red is not my favorite color.
i'm tired now...goodnight.
i like guys with big noses for some strange reason that i cannot understand or explain. rip
plaid is not my friend...
but nick is my friend.
my mind gets fuzzy when I drink too much but my writing abilities improve.
russell is a good dancer but not much to look at...
i do not like beach blonde bitches that laugh and make fun of others.
most of my so-called friends won't be there for me when i need them.
men are like toilet paper...to be used and thrown away.
sometimes the word down has 2 syllables.
brutal honesty is the best kind to possess.
hate is a four letter word...
so is fuck.
when i say i feel black, i mean on the inside.
some people make me smile when they're around.
i laugh at my own stupidity.
i laugh at others stupidity.
people are strange just like jim morrison said.
red is not my favorite color.
i'm tired now...goodnight.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Give This Mom A Medal
If all our towns were full of hard-nosed Mom's like the one seated in the bottom picture here there might not be so many of our youth in juvenile delinquency facilities!!! This young man is getting a very appropriate punishment from his Mom for the offense he committed.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Snake in the Grass?
Several years ago, this guy I used to know named Joe called me a "snake in the grass". At the time, I didn't actually know the meaning of it. I knew a guy named Bobby S. that took great pride in being called a "snake in the grass" and thought maybe I'm one also. This expression has came up again when discussing "class" or lack of it and it made me think of someone that has forced themselves into my so-called life. Yep, it's official!!! I know more than one "snake in the grass" and am thinking about getting me a mongoose... j/k I do not consider myself to be a deceitful or treacherous person but I have been know to cause harm to others. The reason Joe called me a "snake in the grass" was because I was telling him the tale of the low-life piece of white trash that I had to club in the head with my cell phone for fear of my life...there was actually two of them and I hit the big one first. Anyway, if this is what makes a person a "snake in the grass", then so be it. ~Woo Hoo~
Noun 1. snake in the grass - a deceitful or treacherous person
snake bad person - a person who does harm to others
Am I treacherous? (likely to betray trust or marked by hidden danger)
Now is the time for the poll again. Ok, my friends. Do you consider me to be a "snake in the grass"? Be honest...
Noun 1. snake in the grass - a deceitful or treacherous person
snake bad person - a person who does harm to others
Am I treacherous? (likely to betray trust or marked by hidden danger)
Now is the time for the poll again. Ok, my friends. Do you consider me to be a "snake in the grass"? Be honest...
Class or No Class?
Main Entry: 1 class Pronunciation: 'klas Function: noun Usage: often attributive Etymology: French classe, from Latin classis group called to military service, fleet, class; perhaps akin to Latin calare to call -- more at LOW1 a : a body of students meeting regularly to study the same subject b : the period during which such a body meets c : a course of instruction d : a body of students or alumni whose year of graduation is the same 2 a : a group sharing the same economic or social status b : social rank; especially : high social rank c : high quality : ELEGANCE 3 : a group, set, or kind sharing common attributes: as a : a major category in biological taxonomy ranking above the order and below the phylum or division b : a collection of adjacent and discrete or continuous values of a random variable c : SET 214 : a division or rating based on grade or quality5 : the best of its kind
so'cial climb'er - a person who attempts to gain admission into a group with a higher social standing.
Random House Unabridged Dictionary, Copyright © 1997, by Random House, Inc., on Infoplease. http://www.factmonster.com/ipd/A0660131.html
I especially liked this definition. It reminded me of someone that I used to know:
low-class (lkls)
adj.
1. Of or relating to the lower socioeconomic classes.
2. Vulgar or crude; common: was put off by their low-class behavior
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/low-class
As you can probably tell, I'm babbling again but then again, who cares?
I've asked some of my friends and this was their responses to people with no class and how to tell someone that they've got none whatsoever:
Kristy M. says: How about this...Low life, no class, butt ugly, piece of shit...
Cheryl E. says: NO CLASS- means exactly what it says no class- skanky, no manners, no scruples and don't have respect for self or others. something like that...
Barbie W. says: To me -- If someone told me I had no class I would take it as them saying;
*I was a dumb fuck
*I was totally out of the know on how to act, speak or interact with others
*I had no honor of self
*I was a real scuzzzzzzzzzz
*I was an embarrassment to them
* I was trashy
* I had no understanding of loyalty
Kim C. say: NO CLASS - calling the guy you are messing around with in the middle of the night when you know he hasn't bothered to break the news to his girlfriend that he is messing around on and is with her.
NO CLASS - going to an event that you KNOW the now ex-girlfriend is gonna be at.
NO CLASS - being the guy who takes the new girlfriend to the place where the last time you were at you saw the old girlfriend and knew her friend lived there and she would probably be there.
CLASS ACT - being the dumped girl and holding your head high when your stupid sorry ass ex flaunts the ugly blonde in front of you. (Lisa says: I had to add this part: "and not being drunk off my ass because I drink heavily when I'm hurting on the inside")
Eileen A. says: Technically, each person has class in our society, such as upper class,middle class or lower class. Tell her that she is a low class cheat with no scruples who needs to find her moral compass!
Linda Lou says: "No Class" means to me ......................a disgrace! A HUGE DISGRACE to everyone and everything.
(I will post more replies to this as I get them. If you happened to participate, thanks or if you've got a definition about what "no class" means to you or how to tell someone they've got no class and deserve to be beaten in the head with a heavy object, please post a comment.)
so'cial climb'er - a person who attempts to gain admission into a group with a higher social standing.
Random House Unabridged Dictionary, Copyright © 1997, by Random House, Inc., on Infoplease. http://www.factmonster.com/ipd/A0660131.html
I especially liked this definition. It reminded me of someone that I used to know:
low-class (lkls)
adj.
1. Of or relating to the lower socioeconomic classes.
2. Vulgar or crude; common: was put off by their low-class behavior
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/low-class
As you can probably tell, I'm babbling again but then again, who cares?
I've asked some of my friends and this was their responses to people with no class and how to tell someone that they've got none whatsoever:
Kristy M. says: How about this...Low life, no class, butt ugly, piece of shit...
Cheryl E. says: NO CLASS- means exactly what it says no class- skanky, no manners, no scruples and don't have respect for self or others. something like that...
Barbie W. says: To me -- If someone told me I had no class I would take it as them saying;
*I was a dumb fuck
*I was totally out of the know on how to act, speak or interact with others
*I had no honor of self
*I was a real scuzzzzzzzzzz
*I was an embarrassment to them
* I was trashy
* I had no understanding of loyalty
Kim C. say: NO CLASS - calling the guy you are messing around with in the middle of the night when you know he hasn't bothered to break the news to his girlfriend that he is messing around on and is with her.
NO CLASS - going to an event that you KNOW the now ex-girlfriend is gonna be at.
NO CLASS - being the guy who takes the new girlfriend to the place where the last time you were at you saw the old girlfriend and knew her friend lived there and she would probably be there.
CLASS ACT - being the dumped girl and holding your head high when your stupid sorry ass ex flaunts the ugly blonde in front of you. (Lisa says: I had to add this part: "and not being drunk off my ass because I drink heavily when I'm hurting on the inside")
Eileen A. says: Technically, each person has class in our society, such as upper class,middle class or lower class. Tell her that she is a low class cheat with no scruples who needs to find her moral compass!
Linda Lou says: "No Class" means to me ......................a disgrace! A HUGE DISGRACE to everyone and everything.
(I will post more replies to this as I get them. If you happened to participate, thanks or if you've got a definition about what "no class" means to you or how to tell someone they've got no class and deserve to be beaten in the head with a heavy object, please post a comment.)
Monday, October 17, 2005
Kim's World
Here's a link to my friend Kim's blog... She needs to post more often so I'll know just exactly how "phuqt" her world really is... ;-) I know mine is...wonder how her world is today?
I have a 200 mile radius...
that I will travel to see live music. I don't think anything is wrong with that since that's all I seem to enjoy is music but gawddammit I would like the same respect from others that I have deliberately tried to avoid. Is there something so wrong with wanting someone that you think played a big part in destroying your so-called life to stay away from you? I don't think so...(said in the most sarcastic voice known to man) What would be so wrong with that skank staying away from me? It's not like I've got a friggin' thing to say to her...I don't want to be around her, though. She makes me uncomfortable and makes me feel downright sick to my stomach. How would she like it if I was in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area every other weekend or so flaunting my stuff around HER town? Not that I'd ever go to that shithole part of the country again but "what if"... I cannot talk to my friends when she's around... I cannot be myself when she's around... Now it seems that I cannot even go to see my friends when they're in town for fear that I'll see her and will have to talk to her in a normal tone of voice. I don't want to talk to her or be her friend anymore. With friends like her, who needs enemies? Why would I ever want to hang around with someone that's a friend to your face and the minute I turn my back, I get stabbed? There's something wrong with people like that... I swear, if I see her ONE MORE TIME within a hundred mile radius of me, I'll NEVER go to see my friends EVER again and that will really suck for me... But that's what she's good at...sucking! I can tell by her teeth... I'm such an evil person...
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
I had to rant this AM...
but "I'm feeling much better now". I had to apply heat to my broken neck. Too bad there's nothing to mend my tattered heart... I'm still pissed off about this statement: "I hope we can keep in touch and when you are down I can maybe be there to help. I will work on being a better friend." What a fucking lie!!!
It's time....
It's officially time to put a gun to my head. I'm sick of having headaches everyday because of stress. I don't want to take medication either...I'm not sick...just sick of having stress in my life and there's no way to get out of it. I don't want to be a pill head either...friends have died from abuse of pills. Knowing me, I'd abuse the shit out of them. Quit my job? Yeah, right and then stress over not having a job. Quit thinking about the past and how I've been screwed over repeatedly by my stupid s0-called friends? Yeah, right. Tell me how to put the past out of my mind...without drugs. Tell me how to rid myself of the people that stress me without going to prison for the rest of my life. It seems very strange that I've had headaches for months and have only gotten worse since 7-19-05... Monday thru Friday 8-5, you can count on me having a headache and now they won't go away til after I've been home for a few hours. Sometimes I wake up in the AM with them... I honesty feel like going on a killing rampage...the kind you read about in the paper. The sad part is I've already got a list.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Friday, October 07, 2005
Virus Warning!!!
Just looked this up on my "truth or fiction" website and they are sayingthis is TRUE!!!!! So heads up to everyone, and you should probablyforward this warning to everyone you know. Emails with pictures of Osama Bin-Laden hanged are being sent, and themoment that you open these emails your computer will crash, and you willnot be able to fix it!!! This e-mail is being distributed through countries around the globe, butmainly in theUS and Israel. Don't be inconsiderate; send this warning to whomever you know. Confirmed at: http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/osama.asp
http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/osama.asp
Origins: There are few headlines that would grab the attention of morecomputer users around the world than "Osama bin Laden Captured," andthat's exactly what whoever created this lure was counting on to snareunsuspecting victims who use Microsoft platforms. "Osama bin Laden Captured" isn't a virus in itself; it's the text of amessage that includes a link to a file called EXPLOIT.EXE. When amessage recipient clicks on this link to view what he thinks arepictures of Osama bin Laden's capture, he can end up downloading anexecutable Trojan known as Backdoor-AZU, BKDR_LARSLP.A, Download.Trojan, TrojanProxy.Win32.Small.b,or Win32.Slarp. Clicking the embedded link in the "Osama bin Laden Captured" messageauto-executes a file called "EXPLOIT.EXE," which exploits a knownsecurity hole to download the Trojan. According to McAfee Security: The Trojan opens a random port on thevictim's machine. It sends the Port information to a webpage at IPaddress 66.139.77.145. The Trojan listens on the open port forinstructions and redirects traffic to other IP addresses. Spammers and hackers can take advantage of compromised systems by usingthe infected computer as a middleman, allowing them to pass informationthrough it and remain anonymous.
http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/osama.asp
Origins: There are few headlines that would grab the attention of morecomputer users around the world than "Osama bin Laden Captured," andthat's exactly what whoever created this lure was counting on to snareunsuspecting victims who use Microsoft platforms. "Osama bin Laden Captured" isn't a virus in itself; it's the text of amessage that includes a link to a file called EXPLOIT.EXE. When amessage recipient clicks on this link to view what he thinks arepictures of Osama bin Laden's capture, he can end up downloading anexecutable Trojan known as Backdoor-AZU, BKDR_LARSLP.A, Download.Trojan, TrojanProxy.Win32.Small.b,or Win32.Slarp. Clicking the embedded link in the "Osama bin Laden Captured" messageauto-executes a file called "EXPLOIT.EXE," which exploits a knownsecurity hole to download the Trojan. According to McAfee Security: The Trojan opens a random port on thevictim's machine. It sends the Port information to a webpage at IPaddress 66.139.77.145. The Trojan listens on the open port forinstructions and redirects traffic to other IP addresses. Spammers and hackers can take advantage of compromised systems by usingthe infected computer as a middleman, allowing them to pass informationthrough it and remain anonymous.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Annual Meeting...
Annual meeting of single, straight, emotionally-stable, financially secure, intelligent men looking for a long term commitment.Out of Town...
I'm trying to prepare myself to go out of town this weekend. I'll be around my family whom I love with all of my heart but I'll also be around some others (not family) that make my skin crawl. I've not decided what my plan is...drink myself into a stupor or stay sober and tough it out. The ones that make my skin crawl deserve a poke in the eye with a sharp stick but I'll try to restain myself from doing so... I'll be out on Friday night with one of my cousins for sure and we're both known for drinking ourselves into stupors when we're together or often times when we're not together. That's when we get on the phone to each other, regardless of what time it is... It'll be a tough call one way or another...
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Moral Poverty Cost Blacks in NOLA
Moral poverty cost blacks in New Orleans
Posted: September 21, 20051:00 a.m. Eastern
© 2005 WorldNetDaily.com
Say a hurricane is about to destroy the city you live in.
Two questions:
1. What would you do?
2. What would you do if you were black?
Sadly, the two questions don't have the same answer.
To the first: Most of us would take our families out of that city quickly to protect them from danger. Then, able-bodied men would return to help others in need, as wives and others cared for children, elderly, infirm and the like.
For better or worse, Hurricane Katrina has told us the answer to the second question. If you're black and a hurricane is about to destroy your city, then you'll probably wait for the government to save you.
This was not always the case. Prior to 40 years ago, such a pathetic performance by the black community in a time of crisis would have been inconceivable. The first response would have come from black men. They would take care of their families, bring them to safety, and then help the rest of the community. Then local government would come in.
No longer. When 75 percent of New Orleans residents had left the city, it was primarily immoral, welfare-pampered blacks that stayed behind and waited for the government to bail them out. This, as we know, did not turn out good results.
Enter Jesse Jackson and Louis Farrakhan. Jackson and Farrakhan laid blame on "racist" President Bush. Farrakhan actually proposed the idea that the government blew up a levee so as to kill blacks and save whites. The two demanded massive governmental spending to rebuild New Orleans, above and beyond the federal government's proposed $60 billion. Not only that, these two were positioning themselves as the gatekeepers to supervise the dispersion of funds. Perfect: Two of the most dishonest elite blacks in America, "overseeing" billions of dollars. I wonder where that money will end up.
Of course, if these two were really serious about laying blame on government, they should blame the local one. Responsibility to perform - legally and practically - fell first on the mayor of New Orleans. We are now all familiar with Mayor Ray Nagin - the black Democrat who likes to yell at President Bush for failing to do Nagin's job. The facts, unfortunately, do not support Nagin's wailing. As the Washington Times puts it, "recent reports show [Nagin] failed to follow through on his own city's emergency-response plan, which acknowledged that thousands of the city's poorest residents would have no way to evacuate the city."
One wonders how there was "no way" for these people to evacuate the city. We have photographic evidence telling us otherwise. You've probably seen it by now - the photo showing 200 parked school buses, unused and underwater. How much planning does it require to put people on a bus and leave town, Mayor Nagin?
Instead of doing the obvious, Mayor Nagin (with no positive contribution from Democratic Gov. Kathleen Blanco, the other major leader vested with responsibility to address the hurricane disaster) loaded remaining New Orleans residents into the Superdome and the city's convention center. We know how that plan turned out.
About five years ago, in a debate before the National Association of Black Journalists, I stated that if whites were to just leave the United States and let blacks run the country, they would turn America into a ghetto within 10 years. The audience, shall we say, disagreed with me strongly. Now I have to disagree with me. I gave blacks too much credit. It took a mere three days for blacks to turn the Superdome and the convention center into ghettos, rampant with theft, rape and murder.
President Bush is not to blame for the rampant immorality of blacks. Had New Orleans' black community taken action, most would have been out of harm's way. But most were too lazy, immoral and trifling to do anything productive for themselves.
All Americans must tell blacks this truth. It was blacks' moral poverty - not their material poverty - that cost them dearly in New Orleans. Farrakhan, Jackson, and other race hustlers are to be repudiated - they will only perpetuate this problem by stirring up hatred and applauding moral corruption. New Orleans, to the extent it is to be rebuilt, should be remade into a dependency-free, morally strong city where corruption is opposed and success is applauded. Blacks are obligated to help themselves and not depend on the government to care for them. We are all obligated to tell them so.
Posted: September 21, 20051:00 a.m. Eastern
© 2005 WorldNetDaily.com
Say a hurricane is about to destroy the city you live in.
Two questions:
1. What would you do?
2. What would you do if you were black?
Sadly, the two questions don't have the same answer.
To the first: Most of us would take our families out of that city quickly to protect them from danger. Then, able-bodied men would return to help others in need, as wives and others cared for children, elderly, infirm and the like.
For better or worse, Hurricane Katrina has told us the answer to the second question. If you're black and a hurricane is about to destroy your city, then you'll probably wait for the government to save you.
This was not always the case. Prior to 40 years ago, such a pathetic performance by the black community in a time of crisis would have been inconceivable. The first response would have come from black men. They would take care of their families, bring them to safety, and then help the rest of the community. Then local government would come in.
No longer. When 75 percent of New Orleans residents had left the city, it was primarily immoral, welfare-pampered blacks that stayed behind and waited for the government to bail them out. This, as we know, did not turn out good results.
Enter Jesse Jackson and Louis Farrakhan. Jackson and Farrakhan laid blame on "racist" President Bush. Farrakhan actually proposed the idea that the government blew up a levee so as to kill blacks and save whites. The two demanded massive governmental spending to rebuild New Orleans, above and beyond the federal government's proposed $60 billion. Not only that, these two were positioning themselves as the gatekeepers to supervise the dispersion of funds. Perfect: Two of the most dishonest elite blacks in America, "overseeing" billions of dollars. I wonder where that money will end up.
Of course, if these two were really serious about laying blame on government, they should blame the local one. Responsibility to perform - legally and practically - fell first on the mayor of New Orleans. We are now all familiar with Mayor Ray Nagin - the black Democrat who likes to yell at President Bush for failing to do Nagin's job. The facts, unfortunately, do not support Nagin's wailing. As the Washington Times puts it, "recent reports show [Nagin] failed to follow through on his own city's emergency-response plan, which acknowledged that thousands of the city's poorest residents would have no way to evacuate the city."
One wonders how there was "no way" for these people to evacuate the city. We have photographic evidence telling us otherwise. You've probably seen it by now - the photo showing 200 parked school buses, unused and underwater. How much planning does it require to put people on a bus and leave town, Mayor Nagin?
Instead of doing the obvious, Mayor Nagin (with no positive contribution from Democratic Gov. Kathleen Blanco, the other major leader vested with responsibility to address the hurricane disaster) loaded remaining New Orleans residents into the Superdome and the city's convention center. We know how that plan turned out.
About five years ago, in a debate before the National Association of Black Journalists, I stated that if whites were to just leave the United States and let blacks run the country, they would turn America into a ghetto within 10 years. The audience, shall we say, disagreed with me strongly. Now I have to disagree with me. I gave blacks too much credit. It took a mere three days for blacks to turn the Superdome and the convention center into ghettos, rampant with theft, rape and murder.
President Bush is not to blame for the rampant immorality of blacks. Had New Orleans' black community taken action, most would have been out of harm's way. But most were too lazy, immoral and trifling to do anything productive for themselves.
All Americans must tell blacks this truth. It was blacks' moral poverty - not their material poverty - that cost them dearly in New Orleans. Farrakhan, Jackson, and other race hustlers are to be repudiated - they will only perpetuate this problem by stirring up hatred and applauding moral corruption. New Orleans, to the extent it is to be rebuilt, should be remade into a dependency-free, morally strong city where corruption is opposed and success is applauded. Blacks are obligated to help themselves and not depend on the government to care for them. We are all obligated to tell them so.
Evacuation of Oil Rigs
These pictures were taken by Jim Hunter. He is a retired Navy Commander now flying for Petroleum Helicopters Inc. These pictures were taken as he was evacuating workers from oil rigs off south pass, Mississippi River, south of New Orleans.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Omigawd! Alligator in NOLA
This alligator was found in New Orleans swimming down the street. 21 FT long, 4,500 lbs, around 80 years old minimum. Specialists said that he was looking to eat humans because he was too old to catch animals. This alligator was killed by the army last Sunday at 3:00 pm, currently he is in the freezer at the Azur hotel. The contents of it's stomach will be analyzed this Friday at 2:30pm.
Laugh out Loud
While looking at others blogs this AM, I ran across this pic and it made me laugh out loud. The writer is from Barcelona, Spain and I've no idea what she's saying about it. If anyone can help me out, please check out her blog and let me know what its all about. She's got other pics that I found quite interesting also. http://dadanoias.blogspot.com/
Monday, September 19, 2005
Another Silly Joke...
A man was walking down the street when he was approached by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a hundred dollars for dinner and a warm, dry place to spend the night.
The man took out his wallet, extracted one hundred dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you spend this on a fishing pole and lures instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you nuts?" replied the homeless man. " I haven't fished in over 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for a lousy hundred bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Will you go down to Space Coast Harley Davidson and buy a chance on the Fatboy raffle?" asked the man.
"No, I gave up motorcycles a long time ago for my wife." the homeless man sadly replied.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and probably smell pretty disgusting, and my life is a total disaster."
The man replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, fishing, sex, and motorcycles."
The man took out his wallet, extracted one hundred dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you spend this on a fishing pole and lures instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you nuts?" replied the homeless man. " I haven't fished in over 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for a lousy hundred bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Will you go down to Space Coast Harley Davidson and buy a chance on the Fatboy raffle?" asked the man.
"No, I gave up motorcycles a long time ago for my wife." the homeless man sadly replied.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and probably smell pretty disgusting, and my life is a total disaster."
The man replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, fishing, sex, and motorcycles."
Husband Wanted...
A lonely older lady, aged 75, decided it was time to get married. She put a want ad in the local paper that read:
"HUSBAND WANTED. Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me, and must still be good in bed! All applicants must apply in person."
On the second day of the ad she heard the doorbell ring. Much to her dismay, when she opened the door, there sat a man in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs. She asked sardonically "You're not expecting me to consider you, are you? Just look at
you----you have no legs!"
The old man smiled, "Therefore no chance to run around on you!"
She snorted, "You have no arms either!"
Again the old man smiled. "Nor can I beat you!"
The old lady raised her eyebrows and gazed at him intensely. "Are you still good in bed?" she asked.
The old man smirked and said, "I rang the doorbell didn't I?"
"HUSBAND WANTED. Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me, and must still be good in bed! All applicants must apply in person."
On the second day of the ad she heard the doorbell ring. Much to her dismay, when she opened the door, there sat a man in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs. She asked sardonically "You're not expecting me to consider you, are you? Just look at
you----you have no legs!"
The old man smiled, "Therefore no chance to run around on you!"
She snorted, "You have no arms either!"
Again the old man smiled. "Nor can I beat you!"
The old lady raised her eyebrows and gazed at him intensely. "Are you still good in bed?" she asked.
The old man smirked and said, "I rang the doorbell didn't I?"
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
I've got several personality disorders...lol
Disorder Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low
URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mvURL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/index.html
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low
URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mvURL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/index.html
Monday, September 12, 2005
Anti-Depressants?
Does anyone out there have any thoughts on anti-depressants?
I've been feeling down and out lately...
I feel like I could go on a homicidal/suicidal rampage...
I don't like that feeling anymore...
I'm far to old to kill again and I don't think I want to be dead...
I feel lazy all of the time...
I don't like the thoughts going through my head...
I feel shaky on the inside...
I feel like I need something to numb my feelings...
I feel stressed-out most of the time...
My neck and shoulders hurt with stress...
I feel like I need to hunt something down and kill it...
I feel like I could sleep 18 out of 24 hours...
But when I try to sleep, I can't...
Too many thoughts streaming through my head for sleep...
I feel like every day is just one more day and for what?
I feel like I need to dye my hair black and dress in black...
I feel as if I'm in mourning...
What am I mourning the loss of?
I feel the need to drink myself into a stupor...
Poison my body with alcohol...
Numb the bad feelings...
I feel the need to poke out the eyes of my enemies...
and rip out the tongues of liars...
I know a man who's heart I'd like to rip out and then stomp it...
Over and over and over again.
Nothing's wrong with me, right?
It's just everyone else that's fuct up...
Thursday, September 01, 2005
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